So I created my own version, “The REAL parents last call list for senior year.” I created this list before my son set off for his freshman year in college. He is now home for the summer and we have all survived the emotional roller coaster that the first year away can bring. As I review this list today I giggle a little because there is an obvious difference between what my son and my 16 year old daughter who could live on her own today if she so desired! It reminds me of just how different children can be even when raised in the same family.
So while some of these skills seem obvious and can be learned by age 12, I assure you, some of the smartest seniors I know still need to learn many of them.
So while some of these skills seem obvious and can be learned by age 12, I assure you, some of the smartest seniors I know still need to learn many of them.
In no certain order…..
Make sure your teen knows how to:
*Use an ATM
*Write a check
*Use a fork and knife correctly (Sounds silly but people do judge you based on this ability!)
*Do the dishes by hand or with a dishwasher
*Do laundry: Frankly this should start this by age 13 so that it becomes second nature. The goal is that when they are out of clothes they say something like “Oh man, I’m out of underwear. I have GOT to do laundry” That is golden!
*Know the tricks of keeping the big wrinkles out of your laundry (shake it out before putting it in the dryer and get it out of the dryer promptly...shake it out if you don't have time to fold immediately. This is imperative with dorm laundry facilities.
*Know the tricks of keeping the big wrinkles out of your laundry (shake it out before putting it in the dryer and get it out of the dryer promptly...shake it out if you don't have time to fold immediately. This is imperative with dorm laundry facilities.
*Fold their own laundry
*Use a knife for cutting up veggies and fruit etc...
*Cook a few basic meals: browning hamburger, making eggs and cooking noodles will get you a LONG way in college and beyond. Spaghetti and tacos are just the beginning!
*Know when food is spoiled and how to make sure it’s cooked thoroughly (learning this by trial and error isn’t very much fun)
*Change their sheets ( when they live on their own they can change them once a year for all I care, but they need to know how!)
*spray for bugs (see above on changing sheets)
*Change a tire or….
*Call for roadside assistance ( I personally love AAA and have been a member since 1984 when I was 16)
*What to do if their car is towed for illegal parking which is a frequent occurance in college towns.
*What to do if their car is towed for illegal parking which is a frequent occurance in college towns.
*Check their bank account and manage it
*Make a doctor/dentist appt and keep it
*Make hair appts or feel comfortable going in by themselves to request a hair cut
*Apply for a job and have basic interview and job skills (let them get a job in high school so they can do real work for a boss besides you)
*Order pizza online or call for take out (this one is learned quickly in college so no need to stress on this one!)
*Know how to tip the pizza delivery person
*Know how to tip the pizza delivery person
*Shake hands, look a person in the eye and give a proper greeting (this is a tough one if you haven’t started it early on in life)
*Say “thank you” to a host when leaving a party or someone’s house.
*Offer to help at a dinner. "How can I help you?" "What can I do to help?"
*Offer to help at a dinner. "How can I help you?" "What can I do to help?"
*Leave a decent, 20% tip. Explain why that’s important. If you can’t afford the tip you shouldn’t be eating out. That’s what drive thru’s are for.
*Guys: buy dress pants, shirt and tie. How to tie a tie, how and when to shine shoes. Girls...we all know they figure all of that clothing stuff out by at 12.
*Iron (we may not like it, but it’s often a necessary evil)
*Use wrinkle releaser or at least water to get out the big wrinkles.
*Use wrinkle releaser or at least water to get out the big wrinkles.
*use google maps to get anywhere and use common sense if the directions aren’t making sense.
*Have good cell phone etiquette (parents can set the example)
Make sure they have:
*A bank account with check writing option and an ATM card
*Their social security card stored somewhere safe and number memorized or stored where they can find it
*The ability to drive anywhere or maneuver public transportation
*Their car insurance card and how to use in if in a car accident, what to say and who to call. (A great reason to have AAA because tow trucks feed off of these stressful situations and will charge way too much to tow)
*Basic problem solving skills such as learning to ask someone when they are unsure.Many teens think that by asking someone a question they will look dumb. What they need to realize is that not asking gets them "stuck".
*Basic problem solving skills such as learning to ask someone when they are unsure.Many teens think that by asking someone a question they will look dumb. What they need to realize is that not asking gets them "stuck".
* The difference between their cards; health, dental, AAA, car.
*Full understanding of any medications they take and how to refill them; find a local pharmacy or the university pharmacy to keep their prescriptions on file.
*A job, and know how to look for, apply and interview for the job.
*An understanding of the real life responsibilities and consequences of being 18. They can do new things, but they also have real consequences for the bad things.
*An understanding of the real life responsibilities and consequences of being 18. They can do new things, but they also have real consequences for the bad things.
One of the greatest things we did when our son turned 16 was open a debit card account in his name. I am the “owner” so I deposit a monthly allowance that he must use for all purchases except car insurance. At 16 we started with a smaller amount that was simply for extra food and entertainment, gas and haircuts. In his senior year pays for everything that he will have to buy as a college student. He never asks for money and we never lose track of how much we are handing over. (Twenty dollars here and there can really add up if you give them money every time they ask). In addition we can see all of his purchases and reimburse him if he runs an errand for us. Every family does these things a little differently based on a variety of situations, but most people would value the idea of allowing their child to practice their finances at home under your supervision.
If your child is comfortable with these life skills they can focus on the many new things that will be thrown their way the first semester of their freshman year.
And one final thought.....allow your senior some freedoms. I'm not talking about letting them break curfew and go out to crazy parties. I'm talking about letting them manage school on their own and letting them talk to you without judgment. If your senior confides in you that they stayed up too late and are tired the next day, or they need to study for a quiz at 11:00 at night, just listen and say "bummer". They want you to understand that they are making their own choices; some good and some bad. Offer advice in a non -threatening manner. Be glad they are sharing their thoughts with you because once they are gone, they don't have to share much of anything.
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