The REAL parents last call list for senior year.

Huffington Post is a site where I enjoy reading about a variety of parenting topics. The articles often inspire me to consider my opinions and values on a topic. Today however, I read Parents last call list for senior year, and while I appreciated the sentiment, I found myself longing for something more. I wanted something specific that deals with the life skills kids need to not just live on their own ,but thrive, in college or in the work place.

So I created my own version, “The REAL parents last call list for senior year.” I created this list before my son set off for his freshman year in college. He is now home for the summer and we have all survived the emotional roller coaster that the first year away can bring. As I review this list today I giggle a little because there is an obvious difference between what my son and my 16 year old daughter who could live on her own today if she so desired! It reminds me of just how different children can be even when raised in the same family.

So while some of these skills seem obvious and can be learned by age 12, I assure you, some of the smartest seniors I know still need to learn many of them.

In no certain order…..

Make sure your teen knows how to:

*Use an ATM

*Write a check

*Use a fork and knife correctly (Sounds silly but people do judge you based on this ability!)

*Do the dishes by hand or with a dishwasher

*Do laundry: Frankly this should start this by age 13 so that it becomes second nature. The goal is that when they are out of clothes they say something like “Oh man, I’m out of underwear. I have GOT to do laundry” That is golden!

*Know the tricks of keeping the big wrinkles out of your laundry (shake it out before putting it in the dryer and get it out of the dryer promptly...shake it out if you don't have time to fold immediately. This is imperative with dorm laundry facilities.

*Fold their own laundry

*Use a knife for cutting up veggies and fruit etc...

*Cook a few basic meals: browning hamburger, making eggs and cooking noodles will get you a LONG way in college and beyond. Spaghetti and tacos are just the beginning!

*Know when food is spoiled and how to make sure it’s cooked thoroughly (learning this by trial and error isn’t very much fun)

*Change their sheets ( when they live on their own they can change them once a year for all I care, but they need to know how!)

*spray for bugs (see above on changing sheets)

*Change a tire or….

*Call for roadside assistance ( I personally love AAA and have been a member since 1984 when I was 16)
*What to do if their car is towed for illegal parking which is a frequent occurance in college towns.

*Check their bank account and manage it

*Make a doctor/dentist appt and keep it

*Make hair appts or feel comfortable going in by themselves to request a hair cut

*Apply for a job and have basic interview and job skills (let them get a job in high school so they can do real work for a boss besides you)

*Order pizza online or call for take out (this one is learned quickly in college so no need to stress on this one!)

*Know how to tip the pizza delivery person

*Shake hands, look a person in the eye and give a proper greeting (this is a tough one if you haven’t started it early on in life)

*Say “thank you” to a host  when leaving a party or someone’s house.

*Offer to help at a dinner. "How can I help you?" "What can I do to help?"

*Leave a decent, 20% tip. Explain why that’s important. If you can’t afford the tip you shouldn’t be eating out. That’s what drive thru’s are for.

*Guys: buy dress pants, shirt and tie. How to tie a tie, how and when to shine shoes. Girls...we all know they figure all of that clothing stuff out by at 12.

*Iron (we may not like it, but it’s often a necessary evil)

*Use wrinkle releaser or at least water to get out the big wrinkles.

*use google maps to get anywhere and use common sense if the directions aren’t making sense.

*Have good cell phone etiquette (parents can set the example)

Make sure they have:

*A bank account with check writing option and an ATM card

*Their social security card stored somewhere safe and number memorized or  stored where they can find it

*The ability to drive anywhere or maneuver public transportation

*Their car insurance card and how to use in if in a car accident, what to say and who to call. (A great reason to have AAA because tow trucks feed off of these stressful situations and will charge way too much to tow)
*Basic problem solving skills such as learning to ask someone when they are unsure.Many teens think that by asking someone a question they will look dumb. What they need to realize is that not asking gets them "stuck".

* The difference between their cards; health, dental, AAA, car.

*Full understanding of any medications they take and how to refill them; find a local pharmacy or the university pharmacy to keep their prescriptions on file.

*A job, and know how to look for, apply and interview for the job.

*An understanding of the real life responsibilities and consequences of being 18. They can do new things, but they also have real consequences for the bad things.

One of the greatest things we did when our son turned 16 was open a debit card account in his name. I am the “owner” so I deposit a monthly allowance that he must use for all purchases except car insurance. 

At 16 we started with a smaller amount that was simply for extra food and entertainment, gas and haircuts. In his senior year pays for everything that he will have to buy as a college student. He never asks for money and we never lose track of how much we are handing over. (Twenty dollars here and there can really add up if you give them money every time they ask). In addition we can see all of his purchases and reimburse him if he runs an errand for us. Every family does these things a little differently based on a variety of situations, but most people would value the idea of allowing their child to practice their finances at home under your supervision.

These skills may seem trivial, but most of us can agree that these little life skills can make a big difference in the transition to independent living! Many parents find themselves realizing that by senior year, their child has been so busy in sports and working towards good grades, that they are lacking in these basic life skills. Good news! You can teach these skills in a weekend if you put your mind to it! It’s never too late to learn how to shine shoes or make tacos.
If your child is comfortable with these life skills they can focus on the many new things that will be thrown their way the first semester of their freshman year.


And one final thought.....allow your senior some freedoms. I'm not talking about letting them break curfew and go out to crazy parties. I'm talking about letting them manage school on their own and letting them talk to you without judgment. If your senior confides in you that they stayed up too late and are tired the next day, or they need to study for a quiz at 11:00 at night, just listen and say "bummer". They want you to understand that they are making their own choices; some good and some bad. Offer advice in a non -threatening manner. Be glad they are sharing their thoughts with you because once they are gone, they don't have to share much of anything.

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Goodbye sweet summer, hello new school year!

Ride on Pacific Coast Highway in California

Cinque Terre Italy

It has been the most amazing summer of travel and family time. It's so hard to get back to work, but  I  sit here in my classroom I'm finding myself truly excited for this school year.

 I have transformed my classroom into what I like to call a "coffee shop" feel. I have scavenged and purchased and re-purposed fun chairs and tables to create different kinds of seating for all different kinds of learners.

 I have pictures of my trip to England and Italy in 8x10's around the room.  I have surrounded myself with my favorite things and memories. One of my favorite pictures is on the door of my classroom for all to see as they enter. It's a picture of me in a "loving life" moment as I turned a corner on the trail to see Corniglia, one of the "five lands" of the Cinque Terre in Italy. It epitomizes how I feel when I am happiest.

Hiking with my daughter in Breckenridge, Colorado

A teacher friend was visiting my "new" room and told me she heard at a conference that my kind of room has a name. I can tell you that I have not researched this and I am not following someone's grand new philosophy on learning. I am going from my gut on what I would like as a learner; options.

Do I think that having a room like this will enhance learning for my students? I'm not sure, but I am certain that they will feel as happy as I do when they come to my room. Happy students, happy teacher equals a great place to learn!

I am going to encourage my students to use the tools I provide to teach themselves through questioning and research. I want them all to realize that with creativity and resourcefulness that they can travel the world and make meaninful connections to what they learn in my classroom. I want them to have hope that it can happen and now is the time to set those goals for life. So I will use my travels and life experience to motivate and excite the kids. I want them to be able to have converstions with people about the world whether they've traveled anywhere or not.

Our world is getting smaller because of technology and I want my students to feel a part of of it. I saw this shrinking world first hand while visiting our old home in England. Everything seems more "Americanized" from fashion to language to cars to TV shows and movies. England is not so foreign anymore.

How will my students teach themselves? The same way that I do before I visit a new place, whether it be a small town in Missouri or a far away country in Europe. I saw on twitter recently "Why is it that when adults google something it's considered being resourceful, but when students do we call it cheating?" Kids have to learn how to find answers. "I don't know" has become "Let me look that up.....right now....on my smart phone."

I certainly am not suggesting that we don't have our students memorize or study for a test. I am not saying we should give them a quiz and let them google the answers. Students need to learn and retain new information. They can't walk around with a smartphone and google everything. They can't have an intelligent conversation or score well on the ACT if they google everything. I'm just suggesting that learning on their own by researching  and learning how to do this is the first step in internalizing new material. It gives meaning and ownership to what they learn. Nobody spoon fed it to them, it's all theirs. I want to be the guide with the tools to help them!

So we will research and question and learn and share in a comfortable environment where kids are free to move about and there is no "front" of the classroom. I'm diving in and we will learn together! Let's go 2014/2015...I'm ready for ya!

It's truly a hodge podge of seating, but it's all "wipeable" which is important when you have lots of 7th graders!

I feel so happy walking in to my room every day!

San Diego and the dream bike ride.

I've decided to use this blog as a travel journal now that we are back from Italy. I love to travel and want to have these memories and be able to share them with the kids should they travel more some day.

San Diego in a nutshell was perfect! The weather is always 70 and sunny and the beaches are gorgeous.

I went with Jay on a business trip.

 Our first day we rented bikes and rode my dream ride up the coast. We drove to Torrey Pines and found some free parking along the street and rode to Carlsbad where we had a brunch at a cute little place along the road that we researched ahead of time. I believe it was called "The Daily News" or something close to that. The ride was simply amazing and everything I wanted it to be. Jay got frustrated with the many stoplights but I was riding hard so as not to completely bore him so I enjoyed the break!

The next day I got to drive to La Jolla and explore. It was so cool to just drive in to this beach town, find a great parking spot along the road and get out and walk. I saw kids at beach summer camps, got to see the seals and the coves and found a great restaurant called Cody's that I just walked by and decided it looked great because of the view and the quaintness of the place. I had crab cakes benedict that were to die for! I would love to visit this place again!

Riding up Pacific Coast Highwy

It was a short trip but the fact that we packed so much into one trip was great!

The one thing I learned about myself is that I don't require a fantastic big fancy hotel, but I do like it to be in a nice part of town, close to many things I want to do and not be gross. The place we stayed was a Holiday Inn Express with no outside windows and although the bed was okay, the AC was just noisy and icky. I figure if I can manage in a tiny place in Rome that is not much bigger than the beds, then I'm allowed to complain. But in Rome we could open the windows to the outside on both sides of the tiny room. There was a decent bathroom so we just didn't need much else.

The fact that I got to experience San Diego and my dream bike ride with my husband of 22 years is not lost on me. It's at the top of my list of fabulous things. Get out there and travel with the ones you love. This world is big and we have a short time here. Go for it!

Cinque Terre Trek: My second favorite day in Italy

I am on the plane home as I write. We set low expectations for ourselves for this flight considering the awful experience we had on American Airlines on the way over. But we were pleasantly surprised to find TV screens on the back of each chair with more movies to choose from than one could imagine! Cam is currently watching one of the Lord of the Rings movies and I am getting ready to watch The Book Thief, followed by Twenty Years a Slave. The seats and tray tables are comfy (I sleep on a tray table like no other!) and we managed to get seats together despite our late check in at the airport because we couldn’t’ figure out how to check in on line. So, it’s all good.

Before I explain the wonder of our last day in Italy, I have to attempt to put in to words how grateful I am that I got to have these experiences. So many people are suffering right now and so many cannot have these opportunities. I don’t know why I get these chances, but I do know that I will take them while I can. God is in control of my life and only he knows when good or bad will happen. So I choose to live life to the fullest as long as I can taking every chance to pause, pray and be thankful for each day that I am healthy, my family is healthy and we are together. I do not take good times for granted because I know that those times can turn in a flash. Life is full of surprises.

So on to Cinque Terre which means “Five Lands”. These are 5 small villages on the Mediterranean Sea linked by train and windy curvy roads where you must honk to let a possible car around a corner know that you are there. The Cinque Terre is an area that I always saw in pictures and thought was beautiful but never really knew much about it. My friend, Michelle, went last year and up on her and her husband’s suggestion, we too decided to check it out.

I am not a big tour person. I like to navigate things on my own. But after this trip I see the value in scheduling a few tours during an international trip. For one, after using a map and getting lost and found again for hours, it was really nice to get on a bus and relax and have someone else take care of me for a day! And second, and most importantly was what we were able to learn from our tour guides. I never would have enjoyed any of the places I visited on our two Walkabout Florence tours, had it not been for the knowledge of our guides.

Our guide for the Cinque Terre was Freddy. Freedy was an interesting dude. He speaks 6 languages, tried banking and mortgage for a while, made a killing and took his money to Europe where he did what he wanted until his money ran out. He did say something about a cousin that actually stole his money while they ran a restaurant together. So he decided to live simply, on what he needs, not wants and he makes very little doing tours. But, he loves what he does and it shows.

He made in incredibly and almost annoyingly clear that this was a trek, not a walk. This would be 6K (about 4 miles) and down hill, which is harder on your knees thatn uphill. He said we’d be moving fast and he wasn’t kidding. I decided to follow right behind Freddy to try to get info from him and just because I was up to the challenge. I didn’t want to get stuck behind the people I knew would be slower.Good choice! I got a ton of info that others couldn’t hear. I got one on one info about all of the greenery we were seeing. He explained how the grapes they grow on the terraces are in canopy form and that old ladies get on their knees and crawl under them to gather the grapes. He showed me wild asparagus and oh gosh, it will come to me later, but my potatoes were seasoned with it the other night and it had a very distinctive taste. Also we saw chestnut trees and learned how during WWII people would grind these nuts and use them as flour for baking. We even saw wild boar poop! The face was fast but I kept up.

Lunch was in the small town of Corniglia. It was a tiny town of about 200 people with a beautiful, nice restaurant that served us fresh fish (mine had an added dead fly that I didn’t notice until later and you can see in the picture….and I did NOT act like an ungrateful, demanding American and request it be taken back. I just knocked the fly off and told myself that the fly could have been there as they were bringing me my food and the server would have knocked it off and I wouldn’t have known) The next course was a traditional pesto pasta made with potatoes and green beans in it. It was not as good as I thought it would be but the fried bread and cheese I had later made up for it. We shared a table with a young couple from New Zealand and had a lovely time!

Next up was the next town by train and I do get them all confused. This is where Cam and I got to swim in the Mediterranean! Changing our clothes proved to be interesting as we found a café, ordered 2 cokes, sat there for a few and then used their restrooms. After swimming (which was amazing and refreshing) we used a towel and made our own cabana of sorts, pulled a Houdini and we were changed. We saw that most people were doing thing so we followed suit. I think Cam thought he was going to die of embarrassment until I pointed out that he never once noticed anyone doing that until I made a point to show him.

We had more gelato and then returned to the train and went on. The next town was a sweet little town where we went to a wine bar recommended by Freddy and shared a table with our New Zealand friends. Of course service was slow so the girl and I went to the place that served the Pane Frite…fried bread pastry with the most delicious cheese inside. It was the same idea as my favorite meal from the other night but this was just in a different format. So the fried bread and wine tasting was fantastic and we had the best time with this couple. I never even got their names but they were really sweet.

And finally we took a boat along the coastline to the last town where we had just a little time to say our goodbyes to one of the most beautiful places in the world.

So it’s time to end the Italy trip blog entries 2014. Feeling grateful and thankful and ready to see my family and sleep in my bed…..for many hours!

Our fantastic tour guide took this picture of me and Cam.

My students might enjoy seeing a real life example of terrace farming.

 

Cliff divers. A few from our group (including the New Zealanders we met) did this!

Florence: Food, Science and Michelangelo's David

FOOD!
I think the best part about today may have been all three meals! Sure we visited several museums, and actually, Michelangelo’s David was simply stunning, but my meals…oh man!

Breakfast was all about atmosphere. I grabbed my eggs, bacon etc.. and went down to the eating area in a lower courtyard. The weather was gorgeous. I had my computer so I finished yesterday’s blog and just sat for a while with an amazing cappuccino.

Lunch was an accident. Well, it was the place Cam chose because he needed to eat…NOW. So we walked into a tiny little place where you could see the chefs preparing the food and took a seat amongst locals. We had fantastic spaghetti pomodoro. It was piping hot and just remarkable for something so simple. It was a great value too!

Cam said he needed meat and that having only carbs was making him really tired. So we found a place recommended by our hotel and walked a very quite walk to the east end of the Oltarno neighborhood. We probably only saw 2 people in our 10 minute walk. When we got to the restaurant there was a man standing in front of the door looking as if he was blocking it so we walked past. But I realized he was blocking the entrance so I just boldly walked up and past him into what turned out to be a very quaint, very nice place. It was practically empty I assume because it was Sunday night. It wasn’t any busier when we left at 9:00 so I don’t think it was that we were there early.

Our front desk lady was so helpful before we left in helping me decide on an appetizer. We were going for the Bistecca Florentine (sold by the kilo) but we knew we should order something else. So we ordered the most amazing conccoli stracchino e prosciutto crudo. Basically it was fried bread balls, with the most interesting and delicious cheese and prosciutto. So you would take the bread and put some cheese it which made it melt and then add some prosciutto. Oh my goodness! Heaven! The steak was good too☺

Michelangelo's David

Medici Palace

Our favorite gelato...mostly because they also sold my favorite, Schwepps Limone!

Best little lunch place by St. Lorenzo market

Galileo museum where I saw more inventions than I ever realized!

This wins the award for the best thing I ever ate in Italy. I've never had anything like it.

My favorite day! Tour of Tuscany.

A beautiful day at the Tuscan winery.

We always made fun of the tour groups; you know, the ones wearing the voice headsets around their neck and following the guide with the umbrella? Well, we have a different opinion now! Walkabout Tours, Best of Tuscany tour is one of the highlights of our trip. It was so nice to sit back and relax and let someone else tell us what to do and where to go for 12 hours. And although we thought we’d be exhausted at the end of the day, we found that actually we were energized by the entire experience.

We started by meeting a mom and her two college-aged students while we were waiting for the bus to show up. Just getting to the bus was a tad un-easy as we had to make sure we got on the right bus to get to the meeting spot. Once on the bus though, we made more friends, some from LA, a family from DC , and a couple from Arkansas.

Our first stop was Sienna. This place is so rich in history that I cannot begin to go into it so I will share a link…. http://www.abctuscany.com/siena/siena-town/
For me, the most interesting part about Sienna is the districts in which it is divided. There are 17 districts and they are very special to the people of the district. There are tiles notating which district you are in. And I could go on and on. This is tied to the Paleo horse race that is run twice a year in the summer. We just missed the last race and they were cleaning up after it in the Campo. One step in to the shell-shaped
Piazza and you feel transported to medieval times. It looks different than any other piazza or square we have been in thus far. The whole tour was fascinating!

Next stop, the organic wine farm (http://fattoriapoggioalloro.com/?lang=en) which may have been a favorite for both of us as we both agreed we needed to stay longer! We toured the vineyard and then had a fabulous wine tasting and lunch consisting of the best olive oil I’ve had, penne pasta with meat sauce and then a plate of cheese and prosciutto and I LOVE prosciutto! There was biscotti with a very strong dessert wine and tradition is that you dip the biscotti in the dessert wine. With just a dip it was delicious!

Next stop, San Gimignano (http://www.discovertuscany.com/san-gimignano/)
yet another city so rich in history that I must attach a website. Cam has always wanted to see this place. This is where he toured the “Museum of Torture” while I shopped☺ San Gimagnano is famous for porcelain which in the US doesn’t particularly interest me so I had to be careful to not buy something in the moment that I would later regret. I decided on a salt and pepper shaker because I frankly have been looking for one for a long time! I walked up and down the main street of this walled city and looked and looked and checked pricing until I about gave up. Then I walked in to one last shop and found the most beautiful designs different than any others and prices were not any more. Also, the salt and pepper shaker I found was smaller and prettier so for less money I got exactly what I wanted!

We met our bus and off to Pisa we went. Each bus ride from place to place was only about an hour which was the perfect amount to just relax in between. This is probably why we weren’t so tired at the end of the day as opposed to the other days where we thought our legs would fall off! We also got lucky with cloud cover and a nice breeze.

We weren’t all that excited about Pisa but once we were there we realized that actually this would be a great place for a picnic! The lawn out front reminded me of a smaller version of the Eiffel Tower lawn. So we walked around for about 10 minutes looking for a good place to take away sandwiches and drinks. We were patient and we found the perfect place. We got our favorite prosciutto and mozerella sandwich and a couple of sodas and went to the lawn below the tower. There was a sweet family there with the cutest little 16 month old boy who was wanting to interact with us. It really made the experience fun.

You could climb the tower but in my opinion, unless you end up with a fabulous view at the end, don’t bother! Plus is was $20!

After our hour or so in Pisa we were on our way back home. We were both energized after this day just loving the fact that we weren’t completely exhausted!

When we got back to our little hotel haven, Cam and I played chess; well, Cam tried to teach me how to play chess and I lasted for one sad game! Then he went to the room to do the shower/talk to his friends thing and I stayed downstairs watching the World Cup game with a few others from the hotel and started writing this blog post with a glass of wine from the “honor system” bar at the hotel. Actually they have you buy an entire bottle of wine, provide a nice glass and you just write down what you bought on a paper by the bar. The bottle I bought was only 7 euro so about $9 and it was fantastic! And the best part is that I have 2 more nights to have a glass from the same bottle. Best bargain so far!

I’m typing the last part of this blog sitting outside at breakfast where they make you a wonderful cappuccino and the food choices are completely European; eggs, croissants, meats and cheeses and the best fresh fruit salad around. They cut up the fruit into tiny pieces and it’s fresh fruit so it blends really well. I will be doing this at home when I have the time to cup up that much fruit!

Today is the day we finish off seeing any of the museums and attractions on our Firenze card. With this card we get free transportation on busses (which is great since we have a bus stop just outside the hotel) and entry into a ton of places while skipping the line. Today we will enjoy that as we are going to the Accademia to see the David. http://www.accademia.org/

Buongiorno!!!

Cam refused to do a cliche leaning tower pose:)

San Gimagnano

Had to bring some wine home from the winery. There is some olive oil too

White cows!

Olive trees

Sienna's cathedral

Sienna

This is where the district's horse is kept before the Paleo race. There is a "drawing' to see which horse the district gets and it's a big deal to draw a good horse. The district chooses the jockey. If the jockey falls off and the horse still wins, then the district wins.

Sight of the Paleo race. This is the main "square" in Sienna but it is shell shaped...water drains to one end. They cover the race area with dirt for the Paleo. The race had only been days before so there was still quite a bit of dirt around and workers washing it away.

The winning district flag of the Dragon. Each district is named after an animal .Our tour guide was part of the Turtle district:)

Bell tower in Sienna

This chapel's carvings were done by Michelangelo, but he never finished it as seen in the upper right hand side. The bottom right (which i don't think you can see here, is actually a self portrait of him)