Son and Dog: An accidental lesson in responsibility.

This summer we took a family vacation to Colorado without our 18 year old son. Yup, we left him at home. Why? Because he didn’t want to go. 

Now before you start judging me, declaring that you would make your son go, hold up and hold on.

The first thing you need to know is that we listen to our kids when they explain their feelings.  So when Cam said he didn't want to go and kept nagging about we decided to let him plead his case and kept an open mind.

He told us that we are his favorite people in the world,(apparently he almost tweeted about it so OMG!)  He said that it wasn’t about us, but it was about him just not enjoying Colorado in the summer.  We know this is true because last summer he sat in the condo almost the entire 4 days we were there and slept or sat on the deck moping. 

Again, don't judge me and tell me we should have made him suck it up and be happy. Just don't even..

So after careful consideration and some talks between my husband and I, we decided that just weren’t really up to that battle again and we knew we’d have a better time without him. So we left him at home. 

No supervision, nobody checking on him, just a list of things to do that grownups do around the house:

Daily: get the mail, do dishes as needed, feed, walk and play with the dog

As needed: Mow the lawn, mow the neighbors lawn (who was also out of town)

Wednesday take out the trash and recycling by 7:30 am

and a few other incidental items

Remember he was 18, so I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to do many of the things on the list and I didn’t plan on reminding him. I put the list on our chalkboard and left it to hm. I figured he would sleep, play video games, watch TV and hang out with his friends and girlfriend. 

Turns out that I was 100% wrong and that leaving him home was the best decision ever for us and for him.

Why?  Because he did everything on the list and was proud to report about it each time he completed a task.. He set reminders on his phone, put things in his calendar and went above and beyond walking and playing with the dog. But oh the dog…..

My first draft of this post detailed every account of this doggie nightmare, but for the sake of all, I will condense:


*Cam texted us that Dizzy was having diarrhea everywhere so I called him ready to explain how he was going to have to be the grown up and clean it up.
*Cam had already done all of that AND given Dizzy a bath where he had more poop issues. YUCK! At the time he was sitting with her trying to calm her.
*Our vet told us to give her immodium so he went to Walgreens, bought the drugs and gave them to her.....but he gave her too much! He gave her the adult dose. Oops.
*He spent the evening calling the late night vet and making decisions and admitted he wanted us to come home because this was hard.  I gave him a does of encouragement and how being a grown up means doing hard things.

*The next morning he took her to the vet, got all the prescriptions, picked them up and gave her the correct dose.

My first reaction? Who are you and what have you done with my son? 

My next reaction, thank you God for giving me the wisdom to realize that leaving him home was a good decision for our family.

I didn’t listen to opinions, I didn’t cave to “you’re not making him go?” 

We did what we knew was right for us and it paid off in a big way. 

If there were doubts about Cam being fine on his own in college next year, they were alleviated.

 It’s really simple; when we are home, he assumes we will do things. We are his default. When it’s all on him, he can do it on his own.

The three of us has a fantastic time in Colorado without Cam. Hailey calls it our “new family’. She is referring to what will be our new normal without Cam here every day. It’s a fun spin on a time that could be scary and sad! We get to watch our son go off and maneuver life on his own, with us as his coach, mentor and guide and we get to spend some time focusing on our daughter. 

Just like this week, he will make mistakes, but the prayer is that he accepts it and does what’s needed to make a correction.  

There is pride is responsibility. As parents we often have to step back to allow that to happen.

And I bet next year he goes on our family vacation.

Fly to the moon

And when you find your wings

I will celebrate with you

Watch you as you soar

Take the wishes that are yours

I know you can fly to the moon

You can do all things

I will celebrate with you

It`s hard to let you go

Still, you have to go,

I know

Michael W. Smith