I miss you....

Typically, I welcome change. I get a little bored doing the same thing all of the time. Sometimes we all need a different day to day, a different perspective or an upgrade of some kind. But this empty nest change thing; it's just mediocre.

Sure, there are lots of positives! Movie night to see A Star is Born with the great reclining seats and a beer in hand, followed with dinner and jazz. Lazy Sunday mornings, walking to breakfast at Morning Dad Cafe,  a clean house...but I just miss them. I miss my kids. I miss them needing me. I miss their younger years. I find myself reminiscing way too much. And of course I know that raising independent, happy kids is literally my purpose. But I can't help the part where I am happy for them and sad for me.

I think I just need to take a minute and put some old pictures here. Just for safe keeping and those days I just need time to sit and thank God for allowing me to raise Cameron and Hailey.

Empty Nest: The first two months...

Originally my plan was to add an EDIT to my previous post,  "Who will tuck me in when you are gone?" But after a month as empty nesters, I realize that is deserves a post of its own.

Ever since Hailey left for KU I have been adding to my list of 'Blog Post Updates" These were the things that hit me hard that were so different about life now.
Here's the list:
*Making plans and having to back out when the kids decide to come home unexpectedly."
*Meeting the biking group for dinner.*Meeting up for the Sunday coffee/beer ride.
*Scooter date night downtown on a Wednesday
*Making dinner at home? Why would I bother?
*The walks with Hailey to the square for coffee..or the drives to Starbucks. Those Saturday mornings are lonely now.
*TV? What is TV? What should I be watching? What is Netflix and Hulu?
*Ice cream date to Dairy Queen. We sat outside eating our ice cream and I found myself putting my head on Jay's shoulder which I just hadn't relaxed enough lately to think of doing.
*Johnnie's Jazz Club at the new Liberty B&B Theatre to watch Steve Rigazzi and Kim Sivils...and thinking back 25 years to when we first starting going to jazz clubs at City Light under Plaza III with Karrin Allyson, and PBT.
*The bad bad bad dream I had where all I can process after it is that I can prepare them and then I have to leave. I can check on them and see how they are but it's up to them to answer. It's up to them now. I am a coach.

I think the best way to describe this new phase in life is that we feel like we did when we were first married. We got married barely out of college at 23 years old. We lived in a tiny apartment for 3 years before buying out first home and having Cameron. Life was free for us to do as we wanted, when we wanted, but back then we had zero money to do much more than go to dinner and split a meal and share a diet coke.

Things are different now. Sometimes I just hurt. I tear up often thinking about the days when the kids were running around, family meals, and hugs on demand.  What I don't miss is football or soccer weekends ALL weekend long. But I will say that it did force our family into a car together and to be together so it wasn't all bad. But it wasn't for US.

What Jay and I do now is for us. This weekend was perfection and the cool weather helped a lot. Here is a sampling:


*Crossfit and shopping for new jeans for me. *Biking for Jay. (It's always biking for Jay::)
*Jay and I walked the dog to the square and sat outside of Morning Day Cafe for coffee.
Jay worked on the house, I took a nap in the sunroom.
*We sat on the porch swing together. We puttered. I worked a little on my R+F business.
*We cleaned up a bit and went to our favorite, Dubious Claims Brewery and bumped into some friends which was fun, had Blueberry Wheat and pizza and went out back to listen to the band.


It was JUST the pick me up I needed because as fun and relaxing as the day was, I was melancholy. It's the perfect word to describe it. There are just those moments when I get a picture in my head of what family life for us used to be. And it will never be that way again. I have enjoyed every phase and age with my kids but this one. This is tough. Selfishly I just want them to be with me. And selfishly I just want to be with Jay. I can't have it all. So when I'm feeling down I just remind myself that this is the way God intended for things to play out. We did our job and we will continue to be the best parents we can be to . our kids forever! It's just that now it looks a lot different.

Just the days when these 2 were little and so close when
we lived in England. Now one is at MU and one is
at KU.

Who will tuck me in when you’re not here?

The school journey began at
Sir James Knotts Nursery, Tynemouth,England

I am about to be an empty nester.  Sure, I have two posts a about summer travels open on my desktop, but after a text with Jay, I felt a sense of urgency to write.

It's simple.
I texted him saying: "The biology between a mom and her baby is real. It's just a connection I can't explain."

Sorry dads...you won't ever get it. And that's okay. It's okay because we need you! We need you to be strong for us when we are being too emotional. We need you there in the hospital after we give birth to pay attention to the doctors, to visit the baby, to talk to the friends that visit, to protect us, to let us do our hormonal thing. We need you to know that being a mom is hard physically and emotionally, from the very start. But.....with that comes that connection that only a mom can have. That almost PHYSICAL pain that happens during...

*First shots.
*ER visits
*Preschool, kindergarten, middle school, high school and ALL of the firsts.
*Seeing a failure.
* college drop off .

My first experience with the college drop off was 3 years ago with Cameron. It was 30 minutes into our drive home and I was FINE. Then, he responded to a Facebook post I had just posted about how FINE I was and...
I
LOST
IT...

We are talking animalistic, guttural, cry. And Jay just giggled and patted my leg and said it was okay and to just let it out. Which was the best gift he could have given me because that is exactly what I did for quite a while on that ride. Bless him.

I have no idea what Sunday will bring for me. Hailey is so excited to get to school. She is SET. She will be busy and making new friends from the start. Between rowing and sorority rush and school and her new gig with Rodan+Fields, I have no worries. And yet....

She tried SO many things from soccer to music, percussion, school
plays, dance and now rowing.

She won't be HERE. She won't be just across the hall. She won't be tucking me in at night or asking me if we can go get coffee.

She WILL be spreading her wings as she should. This is what is next for us and it will be okay. I won't like it for a while, but it will be okay. I realize now the importance of those intentional things Jay and I did like....

*letting her be her unique self
*wearing what she wanted for school
*being open minded with her ideas
*starting awkward conversations
*time spent exploring KC
*coffee dates

Because now I have a daughter-friend for life! My tears will be tears of joy and love. And so the next journey in life begins for both of us.

We are so proud of this Jayhawk for finding her OWN
path. She found what she wanted and it
doing it! 

Stories from Greece

I have always been one to shy away from discussing ethical and political topics, mostly because there is just so much of a story we do not know.  I am very wary of what "news" I am receiving and of making statements based on secondary sources and opinions. So what do I do?

I go.
I go far.
I travel.
I meet people and I ask questions.

I just returned from a 9 day trip to Greece as a group leader for EF (Education First) Tours which allows teachers to design trips and take students and parents along for the ride. The itinerary choices make it difficult to choose, so my first two trips were based on the curriculum that I teach in 7th grade social studies. Last year I led 52 people to Venice, Florence and Rome where we got to see first hand the many places we had studied. This summer we went to Greece.

It was two years ago that I offered this 2018 trip to Greece which initially sparked a lot of interest. Offering a trip two years in advance allows people to plan and make payments, making such a trip more attainable for many.  Over 35 signed up for the trip, but something strange happened over the first few months after the sign ups. People started backing out, giving me reasons such as , "I'm too busy" or  "Something else came up." etc. But while asking around about opinions on Greece I heard the words "refugees"  "bad economy" and "safety/terrorism" a few times. I was anxious to set out for myself and find out what is really going on in Greece.

I had a feeling that there was nothing to be afraid of and it turns out that not only did Greece feel very safe, but its people are the most beautiful, kind, happy, friendly people I've met in Europe. Most Greeks we encountered had perfect English, so I made sure my travelers knew how spoiled we are that everyone in the world speaks English as a second or third language, and how we are so ethnocentric as as society that we feel we don't need to learn another language at all. I wondered how many of my students had really pondered this concept.

Let me address a few concerns of those that backed out :

Safety/Terrorism: According to our tour guide (who was British but has lived in Greece for 20 years,) there has never been a terrorist attack in Greece. Now I am not here to argue about that, but my point is more about how many Americans are scared to travel abroad when WE are really at more risk in the U.S. for terrorism and gun violence than many other nations. So when we asked him why this was so, my suspicions were confirmed.  Why bother? Why bother attacking a country that really can't do much for you. It's not about religion, it's about money and power. He went on to tell us that the biggest attack in Greece actually occurred by students at a University in Athens and it was never reported in the news; go figure...just not exciting enough.

Athens, just like any other big city, has its good and bad areas. We saw a lot of graffiti and some areas were worn down and dirty. However, I think that some people would be surprised at how safe we felt in the small villages we visited. In Naufplio we came across an outdoor elementary school concert where there was traditional dancing and singing as the parents and family
in the audience looked on. They were as excited to see their children perform as we are when we attend our kids' concerts. It was so fantastic to be able to experience REAL Greece. Real people. They are just like us!

During our dinner in Naufplio there was  a market across the little street that we let the kids go to by themselves. Yup....these young teens walked together and got to experience a little adventure. Sure we kept an eye on them but I felt safer there than I do in most places in the US.

Economy: All I could think of when people mentioned not going to Greece because of the economy was how it seems like a GREAT time to go! I figured prices might be low...and they were. A liter of water from the market was 20 cents. Jewelry was reasonably priced and food was similarly priced to here in the US. We got a marvelous meal of lamb souvlaki at a restaurant for $13 which would have been twice that much here for the quality we got. Every single restaurant we visited was outstanding, whereas in other countries it's very hit and miss. Our guide kept telling us that all of the food was good, but it was hard to believe until we experienced it!

Did I mention the history in Greece?

Refugees: This was something I was eager to chat with our guide about. He said that one of the hotels near ours in Athens was actually a place that was housing many refugees and that hotels were a common place for them. He said it was a bit like a "squatters hotel" and that they really are in need of supplies like diapers and toiletries. The government is struggling with what to do with them and how to help. They are stuck but they are safe. Our only encounter with obvious refugees was twice when our bus was stopped at an intersection. The first time was a boy that our driver was annoyed with as he was asking for money like we see here on our very own street corners....but this boy didn't have a sign. The driver was asking where he was from and the boy said he was from Athens but our driving wasn't believing it due to his accent. I'm not sure why this mattered. The driver gave him a bottle of water and drove off. The refugee issue is of course a concern, much like it is here.

The next time we saw a young boy and girl on the streets. The girl's hair was very matted and both were dirty. The driver talked to them for quite a while and eventually gave the boy a water, but the girl kept begging. As we drove off I looked around to see if I could see anyone else and sure enough, I saw what I assume to be their parents across the road. It broke my heart. I wondered, were these parents once doctors, or teachers? Were they uprooted from their homes desperate to find safety? What if this was my family? Greece is not the only place I have seen such a thing. When we were in Italy we saw a boy playing the accordion for money. He was adorable but we knew he was making money to help his family. What we see on our streets in Liberty, MO is usually the mentally ill homeless begging. Many choose this lifestyle and wouldn't change it. Seems very different to me when it's refugees that would absolutely go back to their jobs and their life if their homeland wasn't dangerous. How privileged are we to be born in the United States. We did nothing to be born here. Nothing. We are lucky.

As we sat having a little happy hour one night in Naufplia,  a little girl's hand came through the window with a small basket asking for money. We shooed her off, but all I could think of if how if I could possibly come back to Greece and meet these families and learn their stories what would I do? How could I help? I imagine they aren't much different than us but were forced into unthinkable circumstances.

Visiting Greece as a tourist! DO IT! GO! Spend your money, meet the people, learn the culture! Talk to the people....engage!  In one little jewelry shop there were 5 of us....3 teen boys and my friend and I. You can imagine that we were all touching things and I worried that the shop owner was concerned., but he came up and started sharing about his jewelry. We were all very friendly and as we all paid he showed us they he carried a $20 American bill in his wallet. He said it was for good luck. So I gave him a quarter to add to his collection as a thank you for being so kind to us. You would have thought I have given him $1000! He said, "But I have nothing to give you" I said, "Sure you do! Show me how to get to the beach!"

Swimming in the Mediterranean during our island tour.

I also encountered an adorable old gentleman in a shop where I was buying a rug. He and I were chatting just as we figured out that all of the hubub going on outside the shop was the President of Greece finishing a meeting on the street above and he was heading our direction! The shop owner said the President had stopped in his shop earlier was very nice. As we walked to the front of the shop,  one of our travelers was there shaking hands with him! We had to google him to be sure he was who they were saying he was because it was just so crazy! Obviously secret service was not concerned about a bunch of sweaty American tourists completely clueless to what was going on. And he was very kind! He stood and talked to our friend for a minute or so saying he was sorry that he only spoke Greek and French.

Josette meets the President

After this encounter with the President, the shop owner wanted to see my picture. He noticed that he was in it and was so excited. So I came in and asked for his card so I could send him the picture. Again, he was astounded at my kindness, but to me it was just fun! My advice; don't be afraid to engage with people.

Holding a real Olympic Torch 

When we travel the world we need to be ambassadors for the United States. The Greeks loved us, but I know many countries that are annoyed with our loud personalities. Many think we are living in the Wild West and would be scared to come here due to the shootings they are hearing about. So for us to be scared to travel to other countries but not be scared here....well, just think about that.

We are actually very much like Greeks in personality so it worked well for us on this trip. As I head to England, France and Switzerland in July with my family,  you can be I will enjoy watching out for personalities and how other cultures engage with us.  I feel we need to try to match the personalities of those we are with. So take a look around you where you are, observe and join in.

And go.
Go Far.
Travel.
Meet people and ask questions.

Check out a short video here! https://photos.app.goo.gl/gHuYchskhLz9Me9U7

On turning 50......

When I was 46 I competed in the Tri-Zou sprint triathlon and finished in the middle of the pack for my age group. I was excited at the idea of turning 50 and competing in the 50-55 age group thinking that being the youngest might increase my chances for earning an above average finish time. But as 50 approaches in a few days, I realize that my idea of "Rocking my 50's" isn't going to happen. It's more like "Hanging on by a thread, body broken in many places, and exhausted in my 50's"

It's been a rough year. We downsized a bit and bought a new (but very old) home and haven't sold the old house as quickly as we would like. We have a senior in a varsity sport that is preparing for college. I run 2 small businesses (which I LOVE!), teach full time and have had a few minor health issues. BUT (and they always say what you really mean comes after the "but") I know there is hope for the future. Because if you know me, you know I can't stay in the dumps too long before I pull up my big girl panties, suck it up and look for the positives. And there is so much positive!

So here is my list of the FABULOUS things about turning 50!!

Fabulous 50!

*I can write my own self help book about almost anything.
*I don't sweat the small stuff.....unless I stub my toe. Then anything can happen.
*I get to see my kids become adults.
*I can wear a lot of hats: doctor, realtor, chiropractor, personal trainer, car salesperson, banker, therapist, Uber driver....
*I am confident in my views and opinions because they are based on real life experience.
*I know that complaining and negativity are energy suckers and are not worth my time.
*I don't care what others think unless they are mis-understanding my intentions.
*I am confident enough to start my own business without fear.
*I know my wardrobe and realize that quality, comfort and simplicity is better.
*Dreams vs. Goals. I go for goals every time. I do my best to reach my goals and don't sweat it if I don't.
*I'm not afraid to try new things and I still love learning!

Married 25 years!

*I appreciate every pain free day whether it's knees, feet, stomach, back....
*I like vacations that earn me the right for a great dinner and margarita! Hiking, biking, is for me!
*Naps are good.
*Wearing less makeup looks better at 50 and it sure is easier. (Not chopping the hair yet though)
*I take life less seriously, "oh well" and "bummer" are a regular part of my vocabulary.
* I try to turn worry into action to solve the problem. If I can't solve the problem I pray. A lot.
*I laugh at myself when I forget things or make mistakes. (Guaranteed lots of laughter!)
*I've been with Jay for over half of my life. That is cool.
*I don't get embarrassed easily. I've survived it all. I do try to limit embarrassing my kids still but that proves to be difficult. "Oh well." "Bummer"
*I am pretty good at finding lost things because I know the weird places to look.
*I know how to prepare for the worst and expect the best.

My "daughter friend".... Mom when I need to be and friend when I can.

*I can get my taxes done and make it through the DMV with all of my paperwork! (Usually)
*Being nice to people is always worthwhile.
*I can evaluate my priorities and allocate my energy where it belongs.
*I follow my "gut"/intuition more.

So maybe 50 isn't off to the best start, but I am certain it will improve and I will continue to be grateful for the many blessings in my life!

-Laura

This little family we have is pretty special. I cherish these times we get to have together. 

Love and Lattes: Mom and Hailey take on KC!

 

Last summer, Hailey and I began what I hope will become a tradition; restaurant hunting in the best city in the U.S.....Kansas City! If you are interested in last year's post click HERE and HERE to see our adventures last summer.

Hailey is so lucky to get to grow up as our city continues to grow and improve and I am so lucky to get to sit across from her and listen to her and her thoughts on life. It's pretty much the best thing a mom could ask for!

My hope is to inspire other moms to start traditions like this of their own. I realize that coffee shop hunting might not be for everyone, but I bet that every parent could find something special that they can share with their child; a walk, an activity you both share, movie nights...the list is endless!

This year's focus was on coffee and brunch.  Here goes our list with our reviews! You will see our ratings separately because we each have different life experiences that made our thoughts different. My job as a mom isn't to mold my child into a mini version of me, but to give her the confidence to be herself! I LOVE watching her become

GINGER SUES

Ginger Sue's, Liberty, MO. This is a THE place to go for breakfast on the historic downtown square. Great pancakes, bacon and lattes! There is always a line for their good home cooking.

Laura: 4 stars because it's fattening and hard to say no to pancakes! But it really is very good!

Hailey: 5 stars because not only do they have great food, they have great coffee and it's close to home. It's comfortable.

THOU MAYEST

 Thou Mayest: Coffee Shop in the Crossroads KC next to Grinders.

Laura 5 Stars: It will be tough to find a place that can top Thou Mayest. The atmosphere is amazing, cozy, lots of seating options including an outdoor patio. The coffee is a normal price with a top off station before you leave. They serve you with a little jug of milk instead of handing you the entire gallon or having milk sitting out for hours. 

Hailey: 4 stars just because it's second to Morning Day Cafe because Morning Day is closer to home and more comfortable for her.

Found these murals on our way home from Thou Mayest!

ODDLY CORRECT

Oddly Correct Coffee in Westport.... Their main business is supplying coffee to other cafes and restaurants.

Laura: 2 stars: Yes it's odd because when I ordered a $4 drip coffee they said that was fine but they don't have milk or sugar for it. And yet they make latte's?  It's a "hip" place but not really comfortable.

Jay: 4 stars

Hailey: 4 stars

DOUGHNUT LOUNGE

Doughnut Lounge in Westport.Weird doughnuts and coffee cups without a handle!

Laura 2 stars. I love doughnuts so it's hard to say no when you are there. The coffee cups are awful but it's still a somewhat fun place. They do serve alcohol too.

Jay: 4 stars. He said it was good but pricey

This was a savory treat from Doughnut Lounge. YUM!

MORNING DAY CAFE

It's not right without including Morning Day Cafe on the Liberty Square!

Laura 4.5 stars This place is quirky and the atmosphere is fantastic! They also have a cute outdoor patio!  It does sometimes take a long time to get your coffee and although the menu is very unique and healthy it's still can pretty high calorie. Try the Tres Tacos for lunch and their breakfast potatoes and eggs for breakfast!

Hailey: 5 stars

ROASTERIE CAFE

We ended up at the Roasterie Cafe in Brookside because Bella Napoli and One More Cup (in Waldo) were both closed on Memorial Day. Oops!

Laura 2 stars. Boring, yuppie, young people. Just not that interesting.

Hailey 3 stars. It was yummy but boring.

CORNER RESTAURANT

This morning my 19 year old son, Cameron, asked if he could go with us one of our adventures so I looked at my list and picked something it thought he would like. Corner Restaurant in Westport was a great pick! Both kids had eggs with mix-ins of cheeses/meats and their yummy has brown with a side of toast. I have the most magnificent BLT with egg ever! YUM! 

Laura: 5 stars

Hailey: 3 stars because they only had black coffee and no fru fru drinks. Food was good but not a huge variety.

Cameron: 4 stars

CHEZ ELLE

Chez Elle is near Blue Bird Bistro and Westside Local and occupies the old Summit Theatre Building.  We love the location and the concept but you do have to order at the front and take a number which created a long line. We LOVED the crepes and the coffee was great as well! They had a lot of employees serving food and cleaning up, arranging tables etc... I think that if they used them as servers things might run more smoothly. 

OPERA HOUSE FOOD & COFFEE EMPORIUM

There are several things I love about Opera House in the River Market. First, the location. It's sits on a corner where you can usually find good parking. It's near the streetcar which is just fun, the coffee is great and so is the food! The atmosphere is big and open yet cool and funky! You have to try this one!

QUAY COFFEE

I'm including Quay Coffee because we went there last summer and really liked it, but I went back this summer with my neice and although the atmosphere was like a library and the seating and lighting were nice, I was shocked at my $4.50 coffee. Sure it's all pretty when they make it their fancy way, but if I wanted fancy coffee I'd order a latte. That said, I did enjoy sitting outside and watching the streetcar!Laura: 3 stars because it was expensive and crowded with people  working on computers. But I liked the location and atmosphere.Hailey: 3 stars for the same reasons.